Conan Vs. Bane [Fantasy Battle Tournament]

Stepping into the ring today is the barbarian warrior who ruled with steel and courage versus the man who broke the bat. The fans have been polled. Their votes have been recorded. Let the battle begin.

Conan Vs. Bane

Darkness. A strange eerie darkness that threatens to consume him. Trying to enter his brain and fill it with dark and depressing thoughts. Thoughts of fear and anxiety. Thoughts of sadness and despair. It’s too bad for this darkness that Conan hasn’t been afraid of anything, much less the dark, for a very long time. The cold stone floor he is lying on assures him that he is not dead. Just confused.

“Oh my aching head!” growls the Barbarian. “Did I drink that much mead that all of my wits have left me? Did I ravage that tavern wench so much that an angry lover came in the night and got his revenge? What is this place that I am in?”

Unfortunately for Conan, he receives no response. In addition, his darkened surroundings keep feeling like they are closing in on him. Conan must find a way out of this darkness and find the person who put him here and happily thank them by wring their neck. Slowly, the muscular barbarian tries to rise.

Suddenly, a strange and unfamiliar voice speaks in his head. “Defeat your enemy and you live. Lose, and you die. Refuse to fight and I’ll kill you both.”

“Magic” thinks Conan to himself “I hate magic!”

“Show me an enemy and I’ll crush him with pleasure, wizard!” yells the barbarian. “Or come out yourself and we can talk like civilized men.”

His only response is a laugh and a sudden burst of light. Conan tenses for a blow he is sure to be coming towards him. When nothing happens. he slowly relaxes and opens his eyes. What he sees shocks him right down to his very core.

Nothing is as it seems. Tall stone buildings with hundreds of glass windows as big as mountains surround him. Strange looking metal wagons are everywhere. Trash of all kinds are littered in the street. And the streets themselves are made of some sort of concrete or granite. Who ever heard of such nonsense. Even worse is the stink assaulting his nose. Rank smells of decay and noxious vapors are everywhere. Nowhere is the pure smell of the earth. The freshness of a mountain breeze is but a distant memory to the foulness surrounding him.

“What kind of animals live in a rancid stench like this?” thinks the barbarian. “What sort of nightmare have I walked into?”

Before he can come up with a response, Conan notices something familiar. His sword, which is laying a few feet in front of him.

“By Crom, but you are a sight for sore eyes.” he says aloud, picking up his weapon. “There is no strangeness that good solid steel cannot make right.”

Suddenly, before he can say another word, Conan sees a figure moving in the distance. A mountain in the shape of a man. Conan has faced beasts this size before, but nothing as strange as this one moving towards him. He seems to be chiseled from muscle. He moves with the stride of a charging rhino. Straight towards his target. Letting nothing get in his way. His face is covered with some sort of jester’s mask. However, Conan is positive that this man is nothing to laugh at and will be a deadly adversary. Maybe he can try to reason with the monster, if he even knows how to speak.

“Hold, friend” yells Conan, saying each word slowly. “I mean you no harm.”

Luckily, the monster responds in a common tongue that Conan can easily understand.

“You are not my friend!” replies Bane. “And unfortunately for you, I will tear you apart unless you tell me where Scandal Savage is.”

“You are making a grave mistake. I don’t know who you’re talking about. And I don’t like being threatened. I was only going to knock some sense into you. Now I will kill you.” says Conan.

Bane just starts to laugh and charges Conan with a quickness that defies his immense size. Caught completely unaware, Conan is barreled down to the ground, his sword knocked out of his hands. The rough concrete ground is unforgiving as well as it tears through his flesh. Conan can feel the beginning of some blood leaking down his back.

Bane does not let up his attack and tries to pin Conan to the ground and position himself on top of him. However, Conan is no slouch at grappling, having fought lions and gorillas during his years of travel. With a strength and skill that completely surprises Bane, Conan manages to wrestle out of his prone position and somehow climbs onto Bane’s back, synching him in a choke hold. Bane, who is not a bad at fighting himself, grabs the barbarian by his head and, using pure muscle, flips him onto his back.

Conan grunts as he hits the ground, the air rushing from his body. Still, he has enough sense to quickly roll to his left as the massive body of Bane drops into the spot where he was laying two seconds ago, missing with a deadly elbow. Conan seizes this moment of freedom to spot out where his sword fell. As Bane rises and attacks again, Conan spots his weapon. That split second of taking his eyes off his enemy costs him as Bane lands a mean right cross to Conan’s face. The blow enrages Conan. With all of his anger fueling him, Conan delivers a devastating upper cut to his opponent, causing him to fall to one knee. Blood starts to flow from Bane’s mouth and nose. Still, the monster rises once again and advances on Conan.

“Damn you, fall!” cries Conan.

“You first!” growls Bane

The two powerful warriors meet and start exchanging massive blows. Both men land multiple punches on each other. Bruises start to appear everywhere. However, Bane does not appear to be tiring, while Conan begins to feel some fatigue. He knows he must do something or this fight is lost.

Seeing his bleak outlook, Conan devises a new strategy. Feigning a lunge, Conan instead makes a run for his weapon. Bane falls for the move and is unable to prevent the Barbarian from getting his weapon. Still, he does not stop his attack.

“That will not help you.” growls Bane. “You will die.”

“Not today!” yells Conan and lunges with the sword.

Surprisingly to Conan, Bane does not try to evade the weapon. Instead, he just stands there as the sword impales him. He then presses a strange device on his forearm and grabs the barbarian in a vice like grip. Conan struggles to escape but is completely overpowered.

“I told you!!” screams Bane, blood flowing from the wound where the sword is sticking out of him. “You had NO CHANCE! You think this toothpick can stop me?”

Conan struggles for words but cannot find any.

“I BROKE THE BAT!!!!” yells a maniacal Bane. “NOW I BREAK YOU!!!!!”

Raising the struggling barbarian high over his head, Bane brings him down with an immense speed and smashes him into his knee. Lifting his now prone body again with one hand, Bane drives Conan’s skull into the ground. The barbarian makes one jerking motion and then lies still.

Slowly pulling the sword from his body, Bane can already feel the venom healing him. The madness is slowly entering his brain, but not removing his purpose.

“Show yourself, whoever you are. Give me back Scandal Savage. Show yourself so I can break you too like I did this little man.” yells Bane.

The only answer he receives is a laugh and darkness.

The Winner: Bane

In our closest vote with a bare edge of 57% of the votes, Bane is the winner and moves on to round two. Is that who you would have picked? (I know I wouldn’t!!!) Make your opinion heard. Please comment on this article. Don’t forget to keep voting for the next battles in Round 2 of the Fantasy Battle Tournament coming in 2012. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!



  1. LiHeiBao says:

    Finally! The fans get it right! LOL!

    • Victor Kutsenok says:

      The fans are not right here. Conan would chop Bane to pieces, venom or no venom. Conan has faced beasts and monsters. Bane is a jacked up human. Seriously a miscarriage of justice in my opinion, but even I have to bow to the will of the voters.

      • Troy says:

        Batman has faced outlandish beasts and monsters too, but he was still broken by Bane

        • Victor Kutsenok says:

          Thanks for the comment Troy. While it’s true that Batman has faced beasts and monsters, he’s usually had his gadgets and toys to help him beat those monsters. Conan has done it with only his strength, will, stamina, and 4 feet of cold. hard steel. Also, Bane broke him after putting him through a ringer of battles and tests. Batman was both fatigued and tired. A fresh Batman would have kicked Bane’s psychotic ass. I think Conan can do the same. But that’s the beauty of the vote. Even if I disagree, I have to follow the will of the fans. Keep voting and reading. Thanks.

  2. Richie says:

    See I voted for Bane on this one because I don’t think of Conan as a comic book character, so I didn’t really think he had a place in the competition. Breaking Batman’s back might have had something to do with my decision as well.

    • Victor Kutsenok says:

      Thanks for the comment Richie. For me, I have every Conan issue ever made so I really had a great idea as to the potential for Conan. That’s why I put my support behind the barbarian. The fans seemed to agree with you though. if just barely, so I bowed to their will. I did make it extremely close though.

  3. LiHeiBao says:

    OK, would Batman beat Conan in a straight fight? No gadets?

    • Victor Kutsenok says:

      Yes, Batman would beat Conan, and I know where you’re going with this. Bane beat Batman so he beats Conan automatically. However, answer me this. Would Bane have beaten Batman and broken his back if he hadn’t have fought off all of the escaped madmen and psychopaths of Arkham Asylum that Bane released in order to “test” Batman? Can a fresh Bane beat a fresh Batman? I personally don’t think so.

      • T. A. Ewart says:

        Of course he can. Bane was created to be a match for Batman. In Knightfall, when Bane confronted Bruce Wayne, he should have ran. He was in no condition to fight Bane. However, Bane methodically broke Bruce down before engaging him, no different than the “prep-time” factor that writers use with Batman frequently, so Bruce wasn’t making the best decisions.

        When Chuck Dixon wrote Bane, the character was highly intelligent, physically stronger than Batman without venom, a genius who mastered languages and sciences, a masterful tactician and strategist (hence his approach in Knightfall), he even has perfect recall. After Dixon, Bane became more of the villain who uses venom, which is quickly cut with a batarang and he goes into withdrawal.

        I used Batman as an example because I don’t believe Batman could beat Conan in a straight, physical fight. Blow for blow, Conan could take whatever Batman could dish out, and once Conan got his hands on Batman, he’d break him like he broke the bull’s neck. Unless Batman employed strategy, pressure points, kept moving, immobilized Conan somehow(all gadget free), Conan’s going to kill him. Same he had to do in Dark Knight Returns #2; the mutant leader was just too strong, I mean, he punched the guy’s nose off! Yes, Batman was older, past his prime but just as an example of how he dealt with a physically superior opponent.

        Bane is a closer match to Conan in the physical strength department, and has shown he can take the punishment. Batman has no qualms fighting dirty; is just fights dirty. Sword in hand, Conan every time. Hand to hand, Bane. The second he realizes how strong and capable Conan is, he’ll bite him in the jugular.

  4. draco says:

    As much as I like Bane, this fight is PIS. Conan’s sword would have cut Bane in half the minute it struck him. If Azrael’s claws could seriously hurt Bane, then Conan’s sword would have rended him into a bloody mess.

    • Victor Kutsenok says:

      Thanks for the comment draco. I completely agree with you. I think Conan would tear Bane to shreds. Even a venomed up Bane. However, I had to go with the whim of the fans. It was the closest vote out of all of them. I personally would have loved Conan to move up to round 2 myself.

  5. Dennis says:

    This would have been close, but for you superhero fan boys
    who like to follow the comics so closely, Conan beat Captain America in a long ago Conan what if comic. In the Avengers Justice League crossover, Batman admitted to Cap that Cap
    could beat him. So I think that settles it, you just dont have the Conan fan base here. Let me also say this I love Batman and Cap but hand to hand they as well as Bane would go down against the greatest warrior of the Hyborian age by CROM.

    • Victor Kutsenok says:

      I agree with you 100% here Dennis. I think Conan would eventually find a way to win against everyone. However, as you pointed out, this is a popularity contest and Conan is not the most popular character in the contest. Thank you for your comment.


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